Review: Sept 29, 2004 - DAR Constitution Hall, Washington DC

I was a nervous wreck about this concert, to be perfectly honest. First of all, I was going by myself (you have no idea how many of my friends say "Who's he?" that I've given up explaining) and it's the first concert I've been to where I had to go alone. Second, I had heard so many "horror" stories about fans pushing and scrambling for the front for general admission shows - I'm claustraphobic, and following an incident in college in which like 10 people fell on my foot in the mosh pit, I've always been a bit wary of large crowds of people. I have to say though, the security had eagle eyes in the front, so anyone who wasn't supposed to be there didn't stand a chance of getting up close. Sorry to everyone who's got the courage to storm the stage - I myself would have never had the guts to do it, I'd be worried that I'd get kicked out, like some people did during the encore. More power to ya if you manage to get closer...but hey, just don't injure me on your way up, okay? (I must sound like an old prude. But really, I'm in my twenties, and I'm short, unfortunately. And unless I'm up close, I haven't a prayer of seeing anything. So that ticket I bought was worth every penny.)

I'd been there before. Actually, it's been 7 years - I had my high school graduation there, that was the first and last time I'd ever been in the building. I bought a shirt - which I will wear to dress-down Friday to the office tomorrow - and a pack of buttons. Way before the opening act, Damien Dempsey (sp?), I realized that I would be situated near the right hand speakers and that I probably should have brought earplugs. The music being blasted wasn't anything I recognized and it was a bit jarring. The seats must have been designed for midgets, I have long legs so I kept getting up to stretch because it was positively awful. But, I figured - and rightly so later - that I'd be standing for the whole experience that is Moz.

Considering what he had to do - open for a legend like Morrissey - Damien Dempsey did a pretty good job. He must have had the longest pop song title in the world with his second song, "I'm Never Going to Let Your Negative Vibes and Comments Get Through to My Psyche and Cripple Me." He also made a joke that when Morrissey asked him to tour with him, he thought Moz wanted him for security. (Everyone who happened to be there laughed - most of the folks were waiting for 9 PM to roll around, and were lined up to get a drink or smoke outside.) He also made fun of himself and his Irish "brogue" by mentioning "it takes me nearly 30 minutes to order a pizza!" His set was about 30 minutes I think? I don't know what was wrong with the setup but when he was testing out his acoustic guitar, he kept having this awful feedback squealing out of the speakers that I was almost tempted to yell, "what are you doing, are you trying to copy the Beatles?" (Think "I Feel Fine.") But I don't envy his job on this tour - obviously, everyone's waiting for Morrissey.

After he left the stage, I did a quick walk-around in the hallway to stretch again, then when I got back to my seat, I almost had a heart attack. Hey, wait a minute...that sounds like a Morrissey song! Well, it was, it was just Nancy Sinatra's version of "Let Me Kiss You." I think they also played some other tracks from her album before Moz went on. Since I was on the far right side, I watched with interest of a roadie climbing up a rope to extend house lights out about and out from the stage; and then I noticed a big "EY" on my side of the stage, realizing that it was probably the same setup as was at the Manchester show. But I wasn't sure. The lights eventually went down around 9 PM and boy, were the screams loud. A Frank Sinatra song - "Charade" or something? I'm not a fan of Ol' Blue Eyes I'm afraid - played. Then went on that monologue that has been played at the beginning of Moz's set, the same monologue that everyone who saw Moz earlier this year heard.

Okay, so this is from somewhere on morrisseymusic.com, but this is that spoken bit (by Margi Clark?) before the curtain dropped and revealed the band...

adolf hitler. the dentist. terry & june. fucking bastard thatcher. scouse impersonator. silly pathetic girlies. silly pathetic woman. macho dickhead. bonnie langford. neighbours. lost keys. phoney friend. ungrateful accusing mate. the royal family. stock aitken & waterman. smiling judas. heartbreaking lying friend. myra hindley. acid rain. stinking rich female in furs. disloyal lover. wife & child beater. drunken abuser. racist. bully. the sun newspaper. aids inventor. leon brittan. all nonsense. massive massive oilslick. jimmy tarbuck. loneliness. cancer. hunger. greed. gut wrenching disappointment. evil gossiping fashion bastard. tasteless a&r wanker. hard cold fish. overdraft like a mountain. the jimmy swaggart show. the tory invention of the non-working class. poll tax. commie bashers. mister jesse helms. hillsborough. weird british judges. apartheid. john lennon's murder. anyone's murder. the breakdown of the nhs. the death of the rain forest. heysel stadium. rednecks. rape. homelessness. the all-american way. clause 28. tiananmen square. sexual harrassment. nelson mandela's imprisonment. nancy's term. ronnie's term. miscarriage. where were you?

"It's wet, it's Wednesday, and it's Washington!"

The curtain drops and you get caught up in the whole hall echoing in screams and in walks Morrissey - dark slacks, a black buttondown shirt (Gucci?), and a red velvet blazer that brings to mind the gentleman's gentleman smoking jacket, Morrissey took the stage like a king conducting his court. This is how Morrissey chose to start the first date on his American "You Are the Quarry" tour, and I wonder why myself considering it wasn't raining that day, but maybe he'd been poking around the city the day before, when we were suffering through the damp remains of Hurricane Jeanne going up the Eastern seaboard. I myself had worried about 1) him canceling because "he" had sounded so terrible on the KROQ morning show on Tuesday and 2) since the rain was so heavy on Tuesday and there had been tornados, I was worried the power would cut out and my dream of seeing Morrissey wouldn't be. But thankfully, the concert went on as planned. I myself couldn't tell that he was ill - although he kept drinking from a cup he had stashed on the floor near Deano's drums after every (or nearly every) song he sang. What I couldn't believe was that he barely took breathers during the whole show - I sort of equate him last night to the Energizer Bunny. I think he was feeding off the energy that started with the opening corker, "How Soon is Now?" This made everyone in the place go nuts. He also had in place was the huge "MORRISSEY" backdrop that figured so prominently in the "First of the Gang to Die" video filmed earlier this year. The bulbs on the huge sign were red and they'd blink so you couldn't miss them. When people say Morrissey reminds them of Elvis, now I know what they're talking about! The crowd was going crazy when he got down on his knees to sing the "chorus" part of "I am human and I need to be loved." You know everyone was feeling it in their hearts at that very moment, I know I was.

He made us all laugh after "How Soon is Now?" by saying, "it's great to be back here at the 9:30 Club." (The 9:30 Club is where most big-ish acts come to in D.C., if they aren't big enough to sell out a larger venue, like the MCI Center.) He followed that with "First of the Gang" which I've loved ever since I heard it, and then "November Spawned a Monster" which had an extended clarinet solo by Boz. After which he has a conversation with some folks in the front, and some very clear woman's voice said, "I want to congratulate you on your album going platinum in the UK." Morrissey had this "aw shucks" look on his face, kinda like he was embarrassed when everyone was clapping for the album doing well.

Then he launched into "Such a Little Thing" which completely caught me off guard. There's just something to be said about the satisfaction one gets yelling "wielding a bicycle chain" and how he'd changed the lyrics to "to all the complicated things of life." Okay, maybe I'm just odd. I'm one of those people who sings along with the artist and that's how I enjoy myself during a concert. I felt weird singing along though because it was obvious to me that people in front of me were Smiths fans, exclusive of Morrissey's solo stuff, and would sit down at every opportunity when a Smiths song wasn't being played. Hmmm...everyone went crazy for "Bigmouth Strikes Again" which impressed me a whole lot. (I know more Moz solo stuff than Smiths.)

He launched into "Let Me Kiss You" which I absolutely adore, I think it's such a beautifully-written song. (Two people outside the concert after the show was over were arguing about whether or not this song was drivel or worthy of praise. I personally agree with the latter.) I could have died during that song (and later, with "Now My Heart is Full") and I probably wouldn't have noticed. Wow. I was a little scared that this man standing on a stage many feet away from me had such an effect on me. (It didn't "help" that he looked at me while I was reaching my arms to the sky and was mesmerized by the lyrics.) Now I understand why seeing Morrissey is deemed a religious experience. Because that was the way it was for me. Maybe you too felt the same when you first saw Morrissey in concert and you can relate - I hope so!

"Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me" got a huge response like "How Soon is Now?" - which led me to believe that more Smiths fans were there than Moz solo ones. (I think this is the song that Mike Farrell played the piano part? Mike also played bongos on another song, and trumpet on yet another one. The songs are all starting to blur together for me.) "Subway Train" was not recognizable to me, until it segued into "Everyday is Like Sunday." It felt like the whole hall was pulsating by all the people singing to "Sunday." Moz sang "How Can Anyone Possibly Know How I Feel?" so pointedly, about "smelly uniforms" and you almost wish you were as sick and depraved as he says he is. I think.

Now...for "Now My Heart is Full" I practically went into cardiac arrest. This has to be one of my favorite songs of his, and even though it sounded a little truncated, it was still perfect Moz for me. "Rubber Ring" was another crowd pleaser, I know my friends had said that he played this song on the British tour too. But I was really there for the stuff from YATQ - "Irish Blood, English Heart" was such a raucous, raucous number with Gary's bass in bold evidence, "I Like You" was lovely, and "You Know I Couldn't Last" (my current favorite from the album) was Moz being silly, he was clucking his tongue and making snake sounds during the song, and when he sang the line, "the critics who can't break you...they somehow help to make you," he added a naughty "unfortunately..." which I couldn't help smiling to. He left the stage and we knew he had to come back, the house lights hadn't come back up yet. So after a bit of cheering from the audience, Morrissey re-emerged in a reddish orange shirt and the audience was going wild. Several people tried to get onstage; the first was a girl in a black tracksuit (?) with white piping, who was carried off by 3 security guards, arms and legs flailing in a desperate attempt to get Morrissey's eye before she was out of his sight line. I think there were another girl with a red skirt, and two other guys, the second one who had tattoos all over his arms and the crowd cheered when a guard grabbed him onstage, yet Morrissey still shook his hand.

I promised myself that I would not cry and actually, I made it through the whole thing without shedding a tear, which I'm rather proud of. Probably I managed to stave off the waterworks by just being in awe of the man. I really couldn't relate to what people told me before, how this was going to change my life. But I think it really did.

What struck me about seeing Moz for the first time that he was just so polite. He must have said "thank you" every time after finishing a song. Is that standard British politeness? He even said, "thank you for thanking me thanking you" after the 2nd or 3rd song I think. He also said, "yes, I'm afraid you're at a pop concert," with a resigned look on his face. I'm guessing people in the front probably asked about the KROQ morning show being legit or not, but I doubt he answered. I forget when but relatively early in the concert he introduced the band. He also said, "thank you, you don't have to clap if you don't want to" somewhere in the early part of the show, which of course made everyone clap harder, at least temporarily. Some guy 2 rows back yelled out "thank you!" and Morrissey scanned the crowd, saying, "what for?" with a confused look on his face. You have to love the fact that he doesn't appear to take himself too seriously, even though we do. He changed shirts twice, the first time it looked like he switched into the same exact type of shirt and mumbled, "I had to change, because you never know..." - what the heck does that mean? Does he want to be fresh in case someone jumps onto the stage? Stuff like that just makes you laugh. He also asked about "Arrested Development" the television show, which I don't watch; I don't know why he brought it up, but he commented that he didn't know what everyone saw in it and he'd never seen it. He also said something about "you make "terrible bread...terrible." Do Mancunians have a preoccupation with bread or something? He also said he wanted to get into Rolling Stone eventually, and "I'm not professional yet...give me another 20 years!" I wanted to say to him, "son, you've been professional since you could speak I bet."

Flowers weren't a problem at this venue - I guess they didn't confiscate them like they did in England. I met a girl named Amy who had a huge bunch of beautiful coral and red gladioli, and her boyfriend had red carnations, which were eventually handed over to a roadie onstage prior to Morrissey taking the stage. I hope he appreciated them. Had I known, I probably would have brought some too. On the way home on the subway, I sat next to someone's really cool mom who is a fan of Morrissey just like her daughter. My mom is so unhip she wouldn't even oblige me.

It was such a wild, amazing experience that I didn't want it to end. To tell the truth, I had a meeting the day after and zoned out, thinking about the previous night and how electric the evening had been. The whole concert just highlighted to me how much Morrissey's music meant to me at that very moment, and it's something I will always remember. Thank you Morrissey! Now can you come back to D.C. again, pretty please?

-review by Mary (fabfan97)